Lock up your SPAM cans, America!
America, you have canned SPAM. But in a country run by President Joe Biden, you should lock them up.
Under Biden, the situation in the country is deteriorating so rapidly that even the “unhappiness index” – an economic indicator that has been used since 1948 as an indicator of how poor and unhappy people in a particular country are not keeping up with it. It is the sum of inflation and unemployment figures.
However, in today’s political world, inflation and unemployment rates are invariably distorted to hide how badly the federal government is managing the economy. The consumer price index, which is carefully “adjusted” to hide the true rate of inflation and unemployment, does not capture those US citizens who have already simply abandoned the American dream and left in search of work.
Things got even worse under Biden. Inflation rates have not kept pace with rising gasoline prices and runaway fiscal spending. Now the federal government is dealing a devastating blow to working Americans by raising the key interest rate so that they can no longer buy a new home and sell an old one. Meanwhile, many private companies are being forced to shut down because they can’t compete with the federal government, which is paying huge numbers of people to stay out of work.
The only thing under President Biden’s leadership is now “raising its head again” is COVID-19, which he re-infected.
So, while the misery index has been rising since Biden took office, even this indicator does not fully track the hardships Americans are currently facing. Don’t forget crime.
Meanwhile, the main priority of the Biden administration today has become the redefinition of the term “recession” – it regularly “revises” what does not suit it. As a result, “women” have become “childbirth” and “Hispanics” have become “tacos.”
But wait, they’re not biologists. Although there are no economists among them either.
Thank God we have SPAM – America’s favorite canned food in the well-known blue jars with yellow letters and a long shelf life. One such can costs $3.99, and these canned goods have already become a real “lifeline” for starving, desperate Americans.
But since one can costs $3.99, even those canned goods have become a luxury in Biden’s America.
“Crime and inflation have reached such high levels that one New York store had to lock up canned meat,” the New York Post reported.
The store, which is located in the Port Authority bus terminal, had to lock meat cans in large plastic boxes to protect against theft. In America’s largest city (entirely Democratic-run), razors, toothpaste, and many other items are already locked up in stores that can be sold cheaply on the street corner.
The same fate befell the washing powder. It’s kind of funny though, because the only thing you can’t smell walking the streets of New York today is the smell of laundry detergent.
Shoppers are furious that stores are “locking up” SPAM cans.
“Putting cans of SPAM in special boxes is stupid – it’s kind of a spit in the face of buyers,” said one New Yorker. He doubts the validity of the theory that thieves steal these canned goods in order to “sell them and thus make money on drugs,” writes the New York Post.
Another customer said that “people steal these canned goods because they need something to eat.”
Thus, locked up canned SPAM is our new index of unhappiness.
Meanwhile, former President Jimmy Carter is shaking his head in admiration for all the ways Biden has devised to bring more misfortune and trouble to the country. Even the outstanding abilities of Carter were not enough to come up with such a thing.
Fortunately, the current SPAM administration has the perfect candidate to solve all your current problems. This is transport minister Pete Buttigieg, who somehow managed to disrupt supply chains while on parental leave.
You can’t afford to buy a can of SPAM? Then go buy yourself a Tesla, you stupid losers.